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Chapter 11 discusses how attachment styles manifest in friendships and work relationships. The chapter focuses on the two types of insecure attachment styles, anxious and avoidant. The author notes that there is less research on how attachment styles play out in friendships and at work compared to romantic relationships, so much of the information in the chapter is extrapolated from studies on couples and parent-child relationships.

In terms of friendships, securely attached individuals tend to have more positive expectations and experiences. They use prosocial strategies to maintain their friendships, self-disclose more, and have less conflict. Emotionally charged conflicts have a greater impact on individuals with an anxious attachment style and are associated with future increases in depression. People with an avoidant attachment style exhibit weaker communication skills and poorer focus during problem-solving discussions with friends.

Regarding work relationships, individuals with an anxious attachment style tend to be more anxious about their performance and relationships at work. Those with an avoidant attachment style are prone to overworking. Securely attached individuals are more confident in their effectiveness in teams, display more vigor and organizational citizenship behaviors, and are perceived as emerging leaders. They are also less vulnerable to burnout compared to those with insecure attachment styles.

In terms of leadership, leaders with an anxious attachment style are rated as less effective, while leaders with an avoidant style are seen as lacking emotion skills. Securely attached leaders are more likely to delegate, while avoidant leaders are the least likely. Employees managed by insecurely attached leaders are more susceptible to burnout and low job satisfaction, and groups managed by avoidant leaders are rated as less cohesive.

The chapter also explores the potential benefits of insecure attachment styles in certain contexts. For example, individuals with an anxious attachment style may be more effective at alerting others to threats when quick action is required. It is important to note that the circumstances in which insecure attachment styles are beneficial are still not fully understood.

The chapter concludes by offering practical solutions for managing attachment styles in friendships and work relationships. For individuals with an anxious attachment style, it is essential to recognize and accept when emotions are disproportionate to the situation. They should also understand that not everyone will feel the same level of attachment intensity and that inequality is normal. Individuals with an avoidant attachment style can experiment with being more consistent in their contact with friends, recognizing the emotional impact of disruptions in relationships, and using positive events to bond with colleagues.

Lastly, the chapter addresses coping with workplace drama, noting that both anxious and avoidant individuals may be more impacted by interpersonal drama than those with a secure attachment style. It recommends using self-care strategies and appropriate support when necessary to manage emotions and navigate negative situations in the workplace.

In summary, Chapter 11 focuses on how attachment styles manifest in friendships and work relationships. It highlights the differences in behavior and experiences between individuals with secure and insecure attachment styles, provides insights from existing research on friendships and work relationships, and offers practical solutions for managing attachment styles in these contexts. The chapter emphasizes the importance of understanding and managing attachment styles to enhance relationship satisfaction and well-being.

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